Get Wisdom

If I'm completly honest at the moment I'm running on empty... I'm sucking down coffee and chocolate like some crazy woman and I've not been outside much either. I'm stuck. My spirit is empty , out of oil and all thats left for me is to scrape the sides and hope for the best - sounds completley unattractive doesnt it. But its true. For all the talk about letting the world wait awhile - I've had some really great times with God and hearing him but i've not been consistantly feeding my spirit and now its overflowing into my life. And its not pretty..... I dont think I've realised how somehow the God stuff inside of us actually is the fuel that keeps us going... not untill I've found myself on the otherside of the fence...
See for the last few months I've been running round getting this or that for the needs of the house or the family in my spare time and I've not prioritised just sitting and allowing myself the time to just 'BE'.  I know for myself it's in the moments where I stop with a cuppa and my bible/journal or just to sit and look at the view this is when I'm able to hear best from God and recieve. Because if all we do is give out ~ sooner or later its going to catch up on us, and I hadnt put two and two together till now as to what I'd been doing...
So having realised whats been going down and now living with the consequences, I really want to change this picture for myself.  So when the kids are asleep or when I've got time to myself at night I want to start tapping into God again, and putting myself in a position to recieve.
How ever that looks at the time will probably be different for me than it is for you...but the point is... I need, and I want Gods wisdom. Because I'm so lacking in it at the moment, and I'm tired of just scraping by.
 I want to start reading the word again in those moments of quiet just to wash over me and not nessecarily "Try" to get anything out of it as I often do try....
I dont know if you can relate to any of this, would love to hear from you if you do...
This picture of me with Zephyr is one of my favourites, it was the first time he'd discovered flowers and it was just a beautiful moment.
 It reminds me of how our heavenly Father wants to share those little moments with us where we just sit and are refreshed, smell the flowers and recieve rather than chase after refreshment through things which at the end of the day actually drain us more....
xoxo


Letting the World wait a while

Our little family has been on a small adventure moving around like nomads for the last 3 months but now we are finally HOME. A Beautiful big house that's ours to live, laugh, play and grow in and I'm so Grateful to my big heavenly father for answering my hearts cry for somewhere to nest!
Not only is it far better than what I was even asking him for but all the boys love it too, especially Titus the crazy critter who's defiantly made himself at home here..
.. During this adventure across the sea, hoping and straining to see some sort of new land or anything that might give us that next compass bearing, i felt God said very clearly and somewhat to my relief.... "let the world wait awhile"...

and I did... 
I dont think its all that bad when we go through times where we withdraw in some ways and regroup...I dont think its too heathy for this to be the norm though, for me having no internet was apart of this island like experience...
I think one of the downfalls with so much Internet 'EVERYthing' these days is theres this compulsion that we have to be in touch with everyone and everything...well that's what I feel anyways.  And in someways I can do that but in others I just cant keep ontop of it. I'm not very good at life once I feel pulled in multiple directions all at once everything goes down hill... 
I've defiantly found myself falling into seasons where it felt like I observed everyone elses life more than I was participating in my own and this was a real challenge for me trying to balance how much time I'd spend (time normally I didn't really have to spare either) on the Internet facebooking, looking at blogs, email, online shopping, trademe, whatever the flavour of the week was..... theres so much out there... so I was actually RELIEVEd when we didn't have Internet during this time and the local Library became our Internet cafe...
Do you remember what It was like when you were little and you really had no idea what happened outside your neighbourhood/school/family and all you really enjoyed was playing, dreaming and exploring?
I sometimes think that the only problem with the Internet (maybe this is just my problem...) is that it can create a whole lot of Spectators and not alot of Participators...
I feel really challenged at the moment to start really dreaming again and creating and I guess this can be a season thing too as sometimes you just build and build your ideas until something comes out from within you.  But I guess what I'm saying is there a place for both being a spectator and a participator and I think that you need the balance of both in order to really feel fulfilled and to see the beautiful things that Gods placed within us come to fruition...
I decided to make a Re*l Home*de Board for my Pintrest page cause I think its fun to see "real" homemade handmade stuff and for it to be just as it is, a little bit raw unstyled and all... I hope you make one for yourself so I can see all your homemade with love creations too!  
I had a conversation with a friend about this whole Internet use thing and she said that she'd heard that the word Addiction means Abhorrent use...which i thought made alot of sense to which I asked myself the question Do I use the Internet too much? Its so easy to get lost down the rabbit hole of the net as you remember half an hour after getting on what it was you were getting on for... she also reminded me that the Internet has its benefits.  Though it was just a simple way of putting it, I thought that's so right the Internet can be really helpful and handy, it can give you some great ideas, help you keep in touch with people ... the list goes on and on...
I think for me I needed some time away so that I could remember what the benefits were for having the Internet instead of just using it for the sake of it and letting so much time slide away...
I guess what I'm trying to say is that when I felt like God challenged me to "let the world wait a while" a part of that was stepping back from the Internet and I felt like there was some significance in that, and maybe there's something in that for you I don't know...  When you have less clutter of everyone else's lives, ideas, etc in our minds I believe that we can start to hear better whats in your own heart waiting to come out, and what God might just be trying to say to us...

I painted this while ago but it reminds me of all the potential we carry and how sometimes we just have to trust what Gods already given us and just start with that. Its about having fun with whats right in front of you like that little kid who could make a toy out of anything, and she had great imagination and could make a something out of nothing...not afraid to let the world wait awhile while she has an adventure of her own...
I don't know whether anything I've written resonates with anyone, I'm not really sure why it is I even write this blog sometimes, I guess its like I was saying before I'm starting with what I've got right in front of me and its all I need.  Its all we all need.
 So maybe I can challenge you to let the world wait awhile whatever that "world" might be to you and see what you discover is waiting for you...
Love Carolyn
Ps... Its good to be HOME
xoxo