small steps when even an inch is progress (so I tell myself)

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This last week I've been confronted by reading the labels of what I'm feeding our family and its like  morbid curiosity to see how much weird stuff I can find. And its crazy!! I've pretty much freaked myself out of ever using margarine ever again and the type of rice crackers we had been giving the kids as a little filler - have all sorts of big names which have now freaked me out too enough to hopefully remember to choose better ones. But seriously this whole idea of trying to move towards a healthier way of living is a crazy struggle.

I've been over weight for what feels like forever so to focus on food I find it can make me do stupid things like binge eating because I'm thinking about it too much or I just make dumb choices when I'm at my tiredest or especially bored. I also feel like I've struggled with depression for the longest time too and so I realise how important the things I put into my body are as they can hugely affect my moods or how I feel about myself which can then also spiral all sorts of dumb choices.
As has lack of energy hugely impacted on how much I can give to my family. So theres so many reasons why I need to pursue a change.

I wish I could just flick the switch and be an instant change maker yet instead I find myself in a muddy puddle trying to swim.

I've been looking into different cook books but I haven't got most of the different ingredients they ask so its easier to stick to the basics at this point. But I'm a bit torn as initially I'm like - yeah I want to go whole foods completely and get the kids on that track but then I see high profile chefs who promote both moderation yet also use sugar and then raw food and just promote the moderation of the sweet side of things and I struggle to think if that really ever works?  I think my ideal would be that I'm clever enough to make whole foods the majority of the time using healthier alternative and then hopfully that would bring a foundation of health that I want to pass onto my little ones...

We are finding with some of our boys that just after one hit of sugar their behaviour goes completely south. And so I feel like I really need to come up with some decent alternatives to both that concept of rewarding through the sweet and then if I do, do something like baking to make sure it's going to do them good rather set them up to fail....I honestly feel sorry for them when I see the result of having given them 50cents to go down to the dairy and as a result their emotions end in disaster...so I want to show them a better way, change the patterns that I've lived by.  I'm just slow on the uptake with this one...

Sorry this is a little all over the show and might sound a bit doom and gloom but a few good things have been happening.

I've been making more of my favourite smoothie for those night time cravings of something sweet
they are great because they are easy and use hardly any ingredients I just use
coconut milk if i have it (from a tin), banana that's been frozen (with skins removed) and any frozen berries or other fruit I've put in the freezer - apple, pear.... and just whizz together in a small blender and its like sorbet - amazing!!!


so small steps!
but even an a inch is progress. Right?


xoxoxo

Next week my aim is to work on their after school snacks