Get Wisdom

If I'm completly honest at the moment I'm running on empty... I'm sucking down coffee and chocolate like some crazy woman and I've not been outside much either. I'm stuck. My spirit is empty , out of oil and all thats left for me is to scrape the sides and hope for the best - sounds completley unattractive doesnt it. But its true. For all the talk about letting the world wait awhile - I've had some really great times with God and hearing him but i've not been consistantly feeding my spirit and now its overflowing into my life. And its not pretty..... I dont think I've realised how somehow the God stuff inside of us actually is the fuel that keeps us going... not untill I've found myself on the otherside of the fence...
See for the last few months I've been running round getting this or that for the needs of the house or the family in my spare time and I've not prioritised just sitting and allowing myself the time to just 'BE'.  I know for myself it's in the moments where I stop with a cuppa and my bible/journal or just to sit and look at the view this is when I'm able to hear best from God and recieve. Because if all we do is give out ~ sooner or later its going to catch up on us, and I hadnt put two and two together till now as to what I'd been doing...
So having realised whats been going down and now living with the consequences, I really want to change this picture for myself.  So when the kids are asleep or when I've got time to myself at night I want to start tapping into God again, and putting myself in a position to recieve.
How ever that looks at the time will probably be different for me than it is for you...but the point is... I need, and I want Gods wisdom. Because I'm so lacking in it at the moment, and I'm tired of just scraping by.
 I want to start reading the word again in those moments of quiet just to wash over me and not nessecarily "Try" to get anything out of it as I often do try....
I dont know if you can relate to any of this, would love to hear from you if you do...
This picture of me with Zephyr is one of my favourites, it was the first time he'd discovered flowers and it was just a beautiful moment.
 It reminds me of how our heavenly Father wants to share those little moments with us where we just sit and are refreshed, smell the flowers and recieve rather than chase after refreshment through things which at the end of the day actually drain us more....
xoxo


2 comments:

  1. Yes Carolyn, I know EXACTLY how you feel. It is so much what is happening in my heart and life too although for different reasons or caused by other 'stuff'. I am supposed to finish a piece for an exhibition I signed up for by Friday and feel alternatively like I want to throw up on it, thrash whatever has been done so far, or burst into tears. It is SO not happening! Yet despite all this, your drawings are just exquisite just the same, and I love the photo you put at the end. Love to you and a big hug. Clementine.(*You are not alooooone* in a deep mysterious gravelly voice)lol

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  2. Carolyn this was what I needed to hear today and just realizing things in myself that God really wants to spend precious moments with me....just being and not doing. Your blog really spoke to me so thankyou for sharing what is on your heart!!! Miss you and love ya xoxo Michelle

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